Hair Loss & SMP Blog

COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF ALL JOY

Who has heard that saying before?

Does it mean anything to you or is it just words?

 

Comparison is one thing that REALLY messes humans up!

 

When we compare to someone that we consider to be ‘better’ than us or have more than we have, it’s not real, it all lies in our perception. Obviously these days with social media this issue has become magnified on a massive scale. It feels like we all KNOW none of it is real, but we still obsess, follow and compare. The fact that anxiety and depression are at an all-time high is no coincidence and the danger of comparison is multi-layered.

 

The knock on effect is that humans are all becoming carbon copies and losing all our wonderful individuality. Have you ever stopped to think about how ‘similar’ people are getting these days? Scores of females buying the branded gym wear that the insta influencers are promoting in an effort to fit in, using the same phrasing in conversations and on social media captions. The amount of males that buy in to a mustache or particular hairstyle trend – we think we are choosing but it is a sub-conscious effort to fit in.

 

Before social media, when we only had access to the people immediately around us, our circle of influence was much smaller. The only people we had to compare to were our friends and work colleagues. Chances are – most of these people were living a life much the same as we were, giving us the feeling of comfort knowing that we are doing ‘okay’.

 

Now have a think about the way social media has changed that. How many people do you follow that appear to live a life you would perceive to be better or more fun than yours?

 

The fact remains that we have NO idea about someone else’s life or their challenges and struggles – remember they are only sharing the good bits. I personally know someone that hired a car JUST to take some instagram photos! The fact this this is happening BLOWS my mind but the fact that people are impressed by it is worrying!

 
 

Now thinking about the profiles that you follow, how do they make you feel? Do they make you feel accomplished and like YOU matter? Or do they make you feel ‘less than’ or insignificant and wish for a life more like theirs?

 

If watching someone/anyone makes you WISH for their life (or parts of it) – that is NOT great.

 

If watching someone INSPIRES and MOTIVATES you into taking action in your life – they are the accounts that you need to be following.

 

What about a friend that over shares with you regularly about what they have or what they are doing.

Their kids are genius’, they have 3 luxury sports cars blah blah blah.

 

We are always happy for our friends when something is going great for them but you know the ones I am talking about – the ones who seem to have it all and are not afraid to let you know all about what they are buying every time you catch up (remember – you don’t see their credit card bills, line of credit, loans etc).

 

If being around anybody makes you focus on what you DON’T have, rather than what you DO, chances are they are affecting you in a much deeper way than you think.

 

Any comparison that leaves you feeling ‘less than’ is creating negative emotions in your brain, and unfortunately they become hard to shift! Chances are once you’ve felt that, subliminally whatever comes up next in your day will mean you are less likely to deal with in a positive or enthusiastic way as you already FEEL ‘less than’, inadequate and beaten.

 
 

TASK OF THE DAY

 

Spend some time now on your social media and unfollow any of the accounts that fall into the below categories.Also take a moment to think about which real life family and friends these apply to.

 

– Anyone that makes you WISH your life was more like theirs (remind yourself they’re only showing the juicy, happy bits – much of it is smoke and mirrors).

Remember here, if the person inspires you to DO and TAKE action – keep following. If you just watch, compare and dream…..UNFOLLOW. Don’t waste your life watching theirs!

 

– Anyone that makes you feel ugly, too skinny, too fat or inadequate – like you’re not doing enough. You ARE enough and feeling like crap about yourself will NEVER inspire you to do anything! If you don’t believe me, think about how following those accounts has been working for you so far.

 

– Anyone that REGULARLY evokes an immediate negative response from you. An example could be a colleague that posts about their wonderful partner but you know that really they split up every other week so in your head you say ‘ugh everything is back on and wonderful for another week until he doesn’t come home again’. THAT is a negative emotional response and has impact on your hormone release and thoughts for hours following. We want to eliminate feeling like that as much as possible.

 

It is easy to unfollow these people on social media and I promise – within a week or two you won’t even miss their content anymore.

 

It can be a little more tricky with real life people but remember this this is your life – NO excuses. You are in control of who you spend time around AND how they affect you. Sometimes we ‘put up’ with people as we are fearful of losing them. If this is the case, ask yourself what losing them would mean. Do they add value to your life or do they just make you feel like you have more friends? Do you leave your catch ups feeling inspired and happy or drained or envious?

 

Imagine a happy bubble where you are in charge and only let your favourite people, puppies (and maybe some cupcakes) in. Keep hold of the people that are moving through life by your side rather than trying to beat you to the finish line – now climb in to that bubble and have the time of your life.

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